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How to get the most out of online dating, by Holly Wright

Joining an online dating site can be a daunting prospect, but get past the jitters and there’s a whole wealth of fun to be had with so many singles at your fingertips! Using the web to get to know potential dates can be a lot less effort than hitting the bar circuit or joining a club, but it’s worth putting the work in to ensure you get the most from your online dating experience.

1. Your dating profile is your selling point

Don’t expect to get many emails based on your age and location alone, the profiles that attract the most contact have a photograph and a well-written personal ad. Choose a photo that shows you in your best light but avoid passport style photos that can look rigid and formal. Ideally your profile should have a range of photos which show the different sides of your character - for example one of you doing something you really enjoy such as walking on the beach, one of you out with your friends and a nice natural shot of you looking happy and relaxed.

2. Get text appeal

Avoid clichés in your personal ad such as ‘easy-going’ or ‘equally happy going out or staying in with a DVD and a bottle of wine’. Whilst these things might be true, you’ll be surprised at just how many other people say the same thing. Instead try using ‘buzz’ words that stand out, like mentioning a country you’ve visited recently or a book you’ve read. If you like food mention a particular cuisine, if you have an interesting job describe it and don’t be afraid to use a thesaurus to avoid unimaginative words.

3. Search, search, search!

Many online daters rely on the matches suggested to them when looking for their ideal date but it’s always good to team this with a variety of your own searches. If you have a particular interest, such as heavy metal or kayaking, use the keyword search feature to pull up profiles which mention these things in the personal ad. The good thing about a thorough search is that you whittle out your non-types, so if you’re looking for a rugged caveman with a penchant for jazz and camping you’re more likely to find him using the search menus than by simply keeping an eye out.

4. Don’t be afraid to make the first move

If someone you think is interesting has looked at your profile but he hasn’t sent you a message – don’t give up hope! While it’s still more common for the male members to be proactive with their online dating, there’s nothing wrong with girls getting in there first. Send him a message, even if it’s a quick one just to say hello, and chances are he’ll love the confidence that comes with you making the first move. Same goes for guys, if you’ve winked at a girl and she hasn’t winked back don’t despair, write to her. Generally it’s best to keep messages short and friendly to pique the other person’s interest. And remember – if they don’t write back, don’t take it personally and certainly don’t follow it up with an accusatory message, after all online dating is meant to be fun!

5. Don’t let one bad dating experience get you down

It’s not easy finding that person you really click with so don’t get despondent if you don’t fancy your date when you meet in the flesh; most online daters will meet at least one person they’re not attracted to during the dating process – it’s totally normal. If you’re worried about being stuck with a date that leaves you cold try keeping it short by meeting for coffee or lunch. And when you finally meet that one that gives you butterflies you’ll know that it was definitely worth the wait!

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Dating advice from match.com

Here at match.com we offer a great environment that gives you control over your online dating experience, allowing you to progress at your own pace in order to establish a healthy relationship. Each year, thousands of people join our online dating communtiy and find love right here on match.com, and you can too.

Our dating advice

Whether you're completely new to online dating, or are getting back onto the dating scene after a break, there are a few things you should bear in mind before getting started. Keeping in mind that to grow any relationship, you have to give a little to get a little, we also want you to exercise caution when getting to know any potential new dating partners whether you meet them in a bar, through a friends or on our site. Here are a few things you might like to consider:

Stay in control

It is our top priority to ensure that you have a safe and successful experience on match.com. We strongly recommend that you stay within the site to build up relationships over time, rather than giving out your phone number, personal email or instant messenger address to matches that interest you straight away. Remember that with match.com you are fully in control of your search for love and can choose to take dating at your own pace.

Keep it real

With online dating you get what you give. Honesty and communication have often been viewed as the cornerstones of a happy relationship, so by being honest about yourself and what you're looking for in a partner from the start, you'll have a better chance of meeting someone who's right for you. Our research shows that members with photographs receive as many as seven times more responses to their profiles than those without. So be sure to choose a recent picture that accurately reflects how you look now. Pick a headshot that clearly shows your face smiling and in a flattering light, plus one full-length shot, and another showing you doing something you enjoy such as walking your dog on the beach.

Get the most from your time on match.com

When creating your profile, if you want to catch peoples' eyes and stand out from the crowd, it pays to be specific in your interests and to highlight the qualities you have. Don't just simply state 'I have a good sense of humour' or 'I enjoy nights in with a bottle of wine and a DVD'. If someone you like the sound of shows an interest in you, take a good look at their profile. Personalising your first email to them is everything. Pick up on common life experiences and interests and make a connection that way. A first email is about getting the conversation started, not revealing your entire life story - so leave something for you both to chat about next time. Make responding to your email as easy as possible by asking them some questions, it's important to remember that the person at the other end may be waiting for you to make the first move. See more dating safety tips